Frozen With Fear – Part 1

Have you ever heard the saying, Going from normal to natural too quickly can be hazardous to your health?

I would like to create my own version of that saying; Switching from traditional to non-traditional too quickly can be hazardous to your health.

Both statements are giving a similar message but just in a slightly different context. They’re trying to warn you that jumping into something too quickly isn’t always in your best interest or, in this case, your animal companion’s best interest. These statements intend to bring up a feeling inside of you that may help protect you from yourself. 

This article touches on “that one word” most of us ignore and/or dread.   From my personal experience, that one word is something that hides behind excuses when it comes to making important changes in my life.  This four-letter word is something we usually hide inside of ourselves and don’t feel comfortable discussing with others.

It’s the BIG “F” word.

FEAR

I’m not here to sugar coat anything and tell you to ignore any fear you have and push through it, no matter what that fear may be. What I hope to help with is to provide you with some strategies you can use when making decisions when fear seems to get in the way.

Each person reacts to fear in different ways, so it’s important to understand how you react. Usually, decisions that are fear-based can trigger us to take a stupid action that results in an unnecessary consequence.

However, I believe that the reaction and results that come about due to fear can be turned from a negative into a positive. As an example, a person who might fear for the health of her family may decide to become more knowledgeable about healthy lifestyles.

Most fear is often subconsciously expressed in the form of procrastination. Don’t let fear hold you back… instead, use it as a form of inspiration that causes you to make a change. Don’t allow it to immobilize you.

What Form Does Fear Take?

There are many forms that fear takes. It can be the fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of risk, fear of mediocrity, fear of change, self-doubt (which is a form of fear)… and the list goes on.

Am I fearless? Heck no! In my opinion no one is completely fearless. It’s human nature. The key question is “how do you manage your fears?”

The time fear seems to show up the most is with a risk, a new experience, a learning curve or a challenge of some kind. Let’s touch on a few of these areas.

Fear Of Mediocrity

One area that I have a very close relationship with fear is when it comes to mediocrity. I don’t want to do something half way or just good enough (which seems to be the norm these days). This has been something I have battled with for years. How have I finally come to terms with it? Here are a couple of ideas that have helped me:

• No one is perfect: I don’t believe in doing anything below the standards I have set for myself (which are pretty high), but I finally realized that if I don’t let myself off the hook and accept that no one is perfect I would never get anything done. No matter what I’m working on or how much I can get done, I won’t skimp on quality and will always know that there is room for improvement and growth. I do my best to not allow fear of mediocrity to get in the way anymore.
• Take action and accomplish something: Anything I do, say or write can always be improved upon but if I don’t make a decision on a cut off point I never move forward. That’s almost what happened with Soulful Equine. When I finally decided that we’d do it in “releases” or “stages” then I felt great about it. It now feels fantastic because we’re actually moving forward in the direction I wanted to go all these years.

So the lesson… it’s important to take action, no one is perfect and it feels great when you accomplish something versus nothing.

Fear Of Risk

Humans are built in such a way that we become uncomfortable when our safety, familiarity and consistency are threatened. Does this also sound like our friend the horse? No matter how much we accomplish or learn, if we want to grow we’ll continue to venture into new areas that will scare us. There’s no way around it. Here are a few ideas that may help you with confronting risk:

• Risk taking can help us gain more self-confidence through experience. If we don’t try something how will we ever move forward? How will we ever learn and grow?
• Preparing yourself ahead of time so you know what to expect when you step out of your comfort zone is important.
• It helps to ask yourself,  “What’s the worse that could happen?” Usually it’s not all that bad.
• Just do it. Sometimes this is a good idea. In other situations, it may be good to use an approach to help you gradually overcome your fear of risk. An example of a fear that may need to be gradually overcome is getting on a horse and taking a ride. Some people have a huge fear of riding a horse but they want so badly to make that leap… but in this case it could endanger their lives. Although it’s beyond the scope of this article, there are ways to help people gradually and safely overcome this fear through preparation and confidence building.

I somewhat believe fear is there to keep us safe, but at the same time fear is necessary to help us grow and move forward in life. Use fear in a positive manner instead of reacting without thought or preparation. Also, keep in mind that one fear can build upon another. As an example, fear of risk could easily turn into fear of mediocrity. For example, you may progress past the fear of risk by preparing yourself ahead of time so you know what to expect, but then fear of it not working out perfectly causes you to not take action. Do your best to balance the gift fear gives you and use it to move forward in what ever it is that you want to do.

Summary

If you got this far in this article you may be asking yourself, “What does this have to do with horses and venturing down the road to non-traditional?” It has everything to do with it. Fear is usually the biggest challenge many people face when it comes to almost anything related to horses. I wanted to write this article as an introduction to my next article. Next week, I will write about my own battle with fear in relation to using more non-traditional approaches to horse care. [For our definition of “non-traditional” go to the article: What Does Non-Traditional Really Mean?].

If we want to achieve all that we’re capable of in life, our challenge isn’t to overcome fear but rather to influence it, feel it, acknowledge it and then do what we need to do to move forward in spite of it. Fear survives because we give it a place to exist.

If you don’t care about growth, excellence or living life to it’s fullest, then you don’t need to worry about fear. It’s very traditional to just settle and to always wonder if it could have been different “if only I had…”

If you do care about moving past your fears in order to live a full life, then do what it takes to conquer them. Don’t give into your fears… it’ll be worth it.

In closing, it’s important to understand that we’re usually our own worst enemy when it comes to dealing with our fears in relation to our horses. Fear is there to both protect us and cause us to stretch just enough for us to grow. Be honest with yourself and accept your fear but work on ways to move through it. Do it for yourself and, most of all, for your horse.

I’m going to leave you with a quote:

When you resist your fears, they become stronger. Acknowledge their presence and they will have less hold on you.”  – Denise Linn

Until next time…

Non-traditionally yours,
Stephanie Krahl